Is there Love after Midlife?

Dating is easy when you’re 20. Hormones do all the heavy lifting, and your rational mind doesn’t even get involved.

There’s a Russian saying: Любовь зла – полюбишь и козла. Love is cruel; it makes you fall for the jerk.

In our 20s, that’s exactly how you feel—overwhelmed by emotion, with little rationality. Any advice from friends or family is ignored, and you cling even harder to your feelings.

Dating life when you’re young is about exploration, testing boundaries, breaking hearts, and learning lessons with the hope of laying a foundation for the future.

Then, for a while, the emotional turbulence settles down as you build your external realities. You create family, pursue careers, raise kids or pets, travel, and learn.

But then, the mid-life crisis hits. What you thought you had under control—your emotional turbulence—returns even stronger. We each deal with this challenge differently.

Some return to dating, searching for meaning in love life after mid-life breakups.

Here’s a common scenario for a mid-life love crisis:

1. You’re in a long-term relationship.

2. Internal pressure and dissatisfaction with life become unbearable.

3. You associate your misery with your relationship: things feel boring, mundane, and your partner doesn’t excite you anymore.

4. You decide to break free and find happiness (the kind you remember, the happiness you once felt).

5. You file for divorce and download a dating app.

What happens next? Well, I am sure you’ve heard or even experienced it yourself.

Dating after 45 is often full of disillusionment and frustration.

You share stories, listen to others, and put in effort, but the chances of connecting like you did in your 20s are low.

You ask yourself “Are there any good single people left?” And after some time of disappointing dating, you give up.

Then you say love is only possible when you’re young, and that everyone now is too selfish and unwilling to compromise.