Anxiety

I start a series of blog posts on anxiety. A lot of people I know suffer from it. But when you google tips for anxiety, all you find is advice to reduce stress, sleep well, and eat better. Here, I’ll write about what anxiety is, how it happens, what types of anxiety exist, and most importantly, what can actually be done to decrease it.

WHAT IS ANXIETY?

Anxiety is the most common psychological disorder in the world and in the U.S.

The percentage of people who feel anxious but are not diagnosed is even higher.

Anxiety is the anticipation of danger.

Unlike fear, which happens in response to present danger, anxiety is a fear of the future.

HOW DOES ANXIETY FEEL?

Anxiety may feel like hypervigilance mixed with attention deficit.

Some people feel it in their thoughts: worries, concerns, and "what ifs."

Others feel it in their bodies: blurred vision, heart palpitations, insomnia, or fatigue.

Some feel it in their emotions: irritability or restlessness.

Some feel all of the above.

WHY IS IT SO COMMON?

Anxiety is an ugly child of fear and imagination, both important for human survival.

Fear helps us survive by escaping danger, like running from a tiger.

Imagination helps us create, innovate, and build in our minds.

But together, they create a maladaptive emotion.

Anxiety doesn’t help—it cripples our lives: we imagine bad things happen to us when they do not.

This creates a false sense of control over the future.

Deep down, we all know life can go in any direction, and we won’t be able to control it.

Yet, many of us try to control the future in our minds.

The modern world’s motto—“you can do it, just keep dreaming”—makes anxiety even stronger.

Because we can dream all sorts of crap.

 WHY LESS ANXIETY IS BETTER

If a tiger attacks you, you feel fear, and your brain pumps stress hormones into your system.

These hormones have an important purpose: they make you temporarily stronger and faster so you can save yourself.

When you’re safe again, your body returns to its normal, restful state.

But if you imagine a tiger attacking you, you can feel the same fear as if it’s real.

Your brain doesn’t care if the tiger is real or imaginary—it still pumps stress hormones.

When there’s no tiger but you’re afraid of one, the stress has nowhere to go, and it harms your physical and mental health.

Anxiety is exhausting. 

It’s hard to focus or get things done when your system is overloaded with stress hormones.

Instead, you might scroll your phone or do other “fast dopamine” activities to relieve the stress (online shopping? Netflix shows? Drinking?).

Anxiety drives many behaviors: procrastination, addictions, type A personality traits, imposter syndrome, etc.

Sometimes people don’t even realize they are anxious.

They may believe they’re just hypercompetent or a type A personality.

Then they burn out.

Some people say they choose to always worry to be ready for the worst. 

Because there is a real threat in their life about to happen.

But when the worst comes, they are exhausted and can’t think clearly.

Even preparing for the worst works better when you are calm, not anxious.

Besides being tiring, anxiety distorts perception and confuses us.

HOW TO USE EMOMAP TO HELP YOUR ANXIETY

(Emomap is a self-help tool and does not replace professional help. Please follow your doctor’s orders if you suffer from a diagnosed anxiety disorder or panic attacks.)

On the EmoMap, anxiety is low confidence and high threat.

It feels like the world is too much to handle.

Anxiety = high threat + low confidence.

The important thing is that anxiety is your emotional future perception.

What you fear hasn’t happened yet. Your inability to handle it hasn’t happened either.

But anxiety changes your mood in present.

Here’s an example of how you can use the EmoMap when you realize you’re anxious and identify the source of your anxiety.

Step 1: Find the Source

Ask yourself: What am I afraid of?

For example, you feel anxious at work.

Maybe it’s because you’re afraid of losing your job and not being able to support your family.

Knowing what you’re afraid of already helps.

The unknown feels scarier than the known.

Step 2: Use EmoMap to Explore the Threat

Once you know the source, use your imagination to create different scenarios.

Find 4 perspectives on the EmoMap: Heroic, Surrender, Combatant, Grateful and play with them like this:

Heroic

Imagine giving all your energy to face the threat.

For example, imagine doing everything to keep your job—networking, learning new skills, or finding new opportunities.

Aim to feel the fire inside.

Surrender

Imagine giving in and letting the worst happen.

Picture losing your job, your home, and ending up lonely.

(It’s just an exercise—stay with it for a moment.) Let it all go and float.

Aim to feel trust in the world.

Combatant

See the threat as real but something you can fight.

For example, imagine your boss wants to fire you.

You take action—prove your value, find solutions, or even outsmart them.

Aim to feel the cold mind and focus.

Grateful

See the threat as a gift.

Imagine how it could lead to new opportunities, strength, or growth.

Picture getting a better job, writing a book about your journey, and being proud of yourself.

Aim to feel warmth and gratitude.

Step 3: Return to the Present

After this exercise, come back to reality.

You’re still in your current situation.

The threat might still be there, but your anxiety should feel lighter.

On the EmoMap, you should be closer to the center—your optimal state.

 Now, you can focus on what’s in front of you and make better choices.

Anxiety is a noise you can bring down.