Addicted to Anxiety
Neurologically, we all have the capacity for anxiety through the release of cortisol.
Yet, while some people remain calm, others worry non-stop—almost as if they are addicted to it.
But how do we get hooked on anxiety?
By trying to avoid the stress of uncertainty and pretending we are in control.
Although it feels counterintuitive, anxious people worry to maintain a sense of power.
Like addiction, chronic anxiety reinforces itself—worrying temporarily reduces uncertainty, but in the long run, it strengthens the habit of being on guard. The brain learns that vigilance = safety, making it harder to break the cycle.
Anxiety occurs under one condition: when we perceive the world as a dangerous place and believe that constant vigilance is the only way to survive.
Psychologically, anxiety arises from the interaction between a hostile world and a sense of personal incapacity (see EmoMap for coordinates).
However, this perception isn’t always realistic—it is often distorted by past experiences.
Our early experiences shape how we see reality, sometimes so strongly that we don’t perceive what’s in front of us but rather what we believe is there.
Sometimes, we see the world as more hostile than it actually is.
Sometimes, we believe it’s kinder than it is.
Sometimes, we overestimate our abilities.
Sometimes, we give up on ourselves for no reason.
When the World Seem More Hostile than It Is
Not everyone sees the world as it is. Some of us perceive it as far more dangerous than reality would suggest.
This distorted perception of hostility is often shaped by prior experiences. Below are two key ways this happens.
Anxiety Induced by Normal Childhood
Children initially see reality as it is. Your child’s preschool teacher probably knows the unfiltered truth about your family—honestly spoken by your four-year-old.
Then, children start to learn. They realize not everything can be shared. There are right and wrong answers. Right answers are rewarded, wrong ones are punished.
This introduces a child’s first moral dilemma: the conflict between feelings, thoughts and actions.
We learn that not all thoughts should be expressed—calling Aunt Jane “smelly” is not right, even if she smells funny.
We learn that not all emotions should be expressed either – throwing tantrums are not ok, even if it feels like it.
Social norms and manners are learned in childhood—along with uncertainty.
If I see what I see, should I say it? Is it ok to honestly express my emotions? Will I be praised or punished?
This is where we first experience uncertainty and internal conflict.
Children become anxious when they are expected to do the right thing but don’t know what the right thing is.
At this point, the world shifts from a caring (green arrow) environment to a more unpredictable place, leaning toward hostility (red arrow).
Figure 1. Switch of the world perception from caring toward demanding.
This shift is unavoidable, and every child must adjust to the demands of the world.
Some manage well, dealing with challenges as they come. They learn that the world is neutral and constantly changing.
Others are stuck on the red arrow, seeing the world as uncertain and problematic, they ruminate and worry about the future almost always.
Anxiety Induced by Childhood Trauma
While normal childhood anxiety teaches children that the world can be unpredictable, trauma takes this a step further—turning unpredictability into extreme danger.
Trauma occurs when our internal resources aren’t enough to handle the world’s hostility.
It can happen at any age, but childhood trauma is especially impactful because children are helpless.
A child cannot leave abusive parents or fight back against violence.
When trauma occurs, the world perspective shifts drastically toward extreme hostility (red arrow).
Figure 2. Trauma-related shift of the world perception from safe to hostile.
The world becomes so terrifying that the child’s defenses create two simultaneous survival mechanisms:
Dissociation – mentally “checking out” to escape overwhelming distress.
Hyper-vigilance – staying constantly on guard to anticipate danger.
Later in life, it distorts both world and self assessments:
The world is dangerous.
You are weak and will lose if not vigilant.
When the world is perceived as unsafe, a person remains trapped in fight, flight, or freeze mode.
If childhood trauma shapes your perception, you tend to be more suspicious, hyper-vigilant, reactive, and… anxious.
But most importantly, you can’t simply stop worrying—because expecting bad things to happen and not preparing for them feels like giving up.
So, you worry to protect yourself.
It brings us to the question: if anxiety linked to past experiences, how do we begin to see the world as it really is?
To be continued…
